this is going to be tough

My jaw is now wired shut. It is a terrible, awful, weird feeling. I feel like I am locked in! Drinking purees is fine in theory, but it s crazy to not be able to lick my lips or use my tongue at all. Yesterday they had told me that I was going to be wired up for 5 weeks, but today they told me that they should be able to switch to rubber-bands in two week's time, which means soft foods like eggs will be ok at that point. That also means only four weeks total before my mouth is back to normal, God willing.

I feel pretty knocked out. I made ratatouille last week or over the weekend or something, so I took that home to Long Island with me. Mom came in by train yesterday and stayed over my apartment last night, and dad came and picked us up at the hospital. We stopped at Rite Aid back in Huntington and my mom picked up some protein drinks and Sensodyne toothpaste and stuff. Not the most inspiring purchases in the world.

Dad pureed my ratatouille with some water. He also made me a blueberry cantaloupe Ensure smoothie. I had put wax over all the spiky metal on my teeth, but I was still a little drugged up from the surgery when I did that, so I put too much and it was blocking the gaps and the food couldn't get through very well. It was gross. I had to clean off all the wax before I could actually eat. Not fun.

My teeth hurt, and I wish I could talk normally, but I'm glad my jaw is in place at the very least. In that regard, I definitely feel better, and I'm sure the pain killers are helping me out. I'm feeling pretty hopeless about being able to enjoy anything for the rest of the summer, but I think that I will be able to heal ok, and that this shouldn't have any lasting damage on my body. Paying for all these medical bills is another story...