release/cream of mushroom soup

So, today I was finally cut free, the wires locking my jaw in place replaced with the far more forgiving rubber bands. I still can't really chew, but I can open my mouth and that is enough! On the down side, the past month has NOT been good to my poor teeth. I couldn't stop crying when I was finally able to open my mouth and see just how disgusting they had gotten. I am terrified that this is going to have a long term effect on my teeth, but hopefully a prompt trip to the dentist once the rest of the wires and rubber bands are removed will reverse all the damage. Say a prayer on that one.

Anyway. Nasty teeth and blackened tongue aside, today should be a day for celebration, as much as they dampened any enthusiasm I was initially feeling. I took the rest of the day off from work, and I'm going to see Salt with Paul at 5:20. Then, at 8:00, I'll meet Jess, Grace and Laura for whatever soft Mexican food I can gum down at Toloache, which is celebrating its third anniversary with live music and $3 margaritas. I was hoping to try the manchego cheese quesadilla with truffles and huitlacoche salsa, but I'm not too sure that'll work out in this stage of recovery. Even so, more foods are possible for me this afternoon than they were this morning, and despite the general unpleasantness of a liquid diet, I did eat some good things this past month.


cream of mushroom soup

For instance, this soup was the most delicious and perfect of all those that I made during my mouth's incarceration. For those of you who are counting, that includes zucchini basil soup, corn soup, tomato soup and broccoli chard soup. It also includes sad soupy guacamole, runny hummus and pureed ratatouille, overly oniony gazpacho, and overly green-tasting spinach and carrot soup, not to mention one horrendous experiment with liquefied pork fried rice that you should count yourself lucky to have never ingested. Considering how poor so many of those eating experiences were, you might think this soup is only good by comparison, but I assure you that is not the case. This soup is genuinely delicious, liquid diet or no.

Because my mom is awesome and thoughtful, she bought some mushrooms and made some chicken stock before I arrived home last Thursday, with the idea that I could make a mushroom soup. I love my mom.

If I had known what she was up to, I would have brought home some of the gorgeous dried porcini mushrooms Nathan had brought me back from the San Lorenzo Market in Florence. I'm sure they would have upped the deliciousness ante, but this soup was singing with mushroom flavor even though we only used lame generic white button mushrooms from the supermarket. Using the smitten kitchen as a general guide, we came up with a deliciously light and creamy mushroom soup that was quite similar to the mushroom ravioli dish I made in this blog's infancy.

Anyway, first I sauteed some onions with salt and pepper in hot olive oil. Once they were nice and soft, I added a package of mushrooms, which I had cleaned with a paper towel and sliced thinly. I also tossed in a couple of cloves of minced garlic and a small knob of butter. I cooked all that for about 15 minutes, which is probably why everything tasted so strongly of mushrooms in the end. They got nice and brown, even though I probably could have given them more space to breath. (You know, "don't crowd the mushrooms!" and all that.)

At that point, I added my mom's chicken stock, which she had reheated in a separate pot. She says this is to kill off any bacteria that might have been breeding in there. Normally I just dump frozen stock into the pot, so maybe I should rethink that!!! We really didn't cook it much longer after that, to be honest. After about ten minutes at most, we added some half and half, and then it simmered for maybe another 15 while we finished the dinner for the rest of the family.

The soup went into the blender with a couple of sprigs of parsley. A few quick pulses emulsified everything and took care of the oil slick that had formed on the top of the pot, since I probably used too much olive oil. After that, you're good to go, unless you're me, in which care, it will also need a good straining. So glad those days are behind me, with more and more solid food on the horizon!

As pleased as I am to be off the restrictive liquid diet, this is one recipe that will still be welcome in my kitchen. Rich but light, earthy and creamy and a snap to make, this soup is a definite keeper!

a long and boring story about my broken jaw

My last trip to the oral surgery clinic, the doctor gave me some bad news. When I was first told that my jaw would have to be wired shut, I was told that it would be for five weeks. This, of course, was the last thing I wanted to hear. The next day, when I went back for the surgery, I was given the much more hopeful prognosis of two weeks of wires followed by two weeks of rubber bands. Still pretty miserable, but considerably better.

So it was on Tuesday that I went back with the expectation that the wires clamping my teeth together would be removed and replaced with rubber bands. While I would still have limited motion in my jaw, this would allow me to open my mouth and ingest soft foods. This would make a huge difference in my quality of life, so I was really looking forward to it— I would be able to talk more clearly, yawn without the discomfort of trying to wrench my wired teeth apart, and brush the inside of my mouth. Most importantly, I'd be able to eat mashed potatoes, yogurt, eggs, polenta... really anything that was soft and mushy.

In addition to being a rather unpleasant sensation, having to strain all my food through my teeth means I have to painstakingly remove all the seeds or bits of skin in all my soups or smoothies, which can take over a half hour at times. With rubber bands, this would be a thing of the past. Additionally, I'd be able to lick my lips again! Fit a spoon inside my mouth! All the simple pleasures of feeding oneself that we usually take for granted!

Alas, that was not to be. When I arrived, the interns consulted my chart, which said I was due to get the wires off. I allowed myself to believe it was almost over. Then my doctor, Whitney, came in and said she would have to double check before she went ahead and freed me. Uh oh.... Sure enough, when she came back, it was to tell me what I had been secretly dreading all along. Not only would there be two more weeks of wires, but there would also be two weeks of rubber bands after that, extending my healing process by 50%.

Even though I had suspected something like this might happen, I still couldn't believe what she was telling me. I had been so close to release, and it had slipped right through my fingertips, leaving me utterly dumbfounded and distraught. I was a total wreck after I left the hospital. Then on top of that, I tried to use my Optimum Rewards card for free tickets to Middle Men, and the movie was sold out a full two hours beforehand. So was Dinner for Schmucks, and pretty much everything showing before 8:00. At 4:30. I was absolutely livid. We're talking black out levels of rage. It was NOT a good day. I was a total wreck.

By the next day, I had begun to resign myself to being locked in the prison that is currently my mouth until the first week of September. It sucks, but it is what it is. That being said, I still don't understand why they didn't just give me the 6 week time line up front.

My jaw broke in two places. Up by my left temple, on the top, and on the bottom on the right front. The upper break is apparently held in place by the joint itself, or something, but if the wires holding my teeth together were to be removed, the lower break would shift around and not heal properly. Obviously, this is something I'd like to avoid, so I understand the necessity of leaving the wires on. What I don't understand is why anyone at the clinic ever thought that two weeks of full wires would be sufficient. The nature of my injury hasn't changed, so if two weeks aren't enough now, why would that have been long enough when I was initially wired? I wish they had just set me straight with this awful 6 week time line from the get go, instead of leading me to believe I'd be in the clear in less than a month. That made it that much worse.

Regardless, there's not much that I can do about it now. I sulked for a bit, and then I figured I had better cook some soups for myself since I was out of Ensure and not looking to buy more. (That stuff tastes funny.) I've gone on long enough for tonight, but I do have some food to talk about, not to mention the super sweet puree party my roommate Laura organized in my honor. I'm bummed that I'm still on all liquids, but at least I've got lots of food in the fridge for now.

liquid food....

...sucks. I am getting the wires replaced with rubber bands tomorrow, I think. I hope. I haven't been able to lick my lips or unclench my teeth in nearly two weeks. It's been absolutely awful. I've been mostly drinking ensure mixed with ice cream, yogurt, sour cream, berries and juices. I am getting used to the kind of gross taste, actually.

I've mixed up a couple of savory things, but there's just something utterly unappealing about straining pureed spinach or avocado through your teeth, even if you've mixed it with black beans, sour cream, red onion, cilantro, lime, tomato, chicken broth, olive oil, cumin and garlic powder. It tastes good, but the act of drinking quickly kills any enjoyment of the meal.

Nathan actually liked my avocado drink and used it as a dipping sauce for a grilled cheese sandwich with black beans and avocado.



Boy would I kill to bite into something as simple as a grilled cheese sandwich.

I've also been drinking a lot of corn soup. I had frozen the disappointing watered down soup I made a few weeks ago, so when I got more corn I simply defrosted it and added more corn kernels. It's much richer and sweeter with the extra corn, but I'm sick of it too, to be honest.

Here's a picture:



I can't even eat the cilantro garnish. What an utter bummer.

this is going to be tough

My jaw is now wired shut. It is a terrible, awful, weird feeling. I feel like I am locked in! Drinking purees is fine in theory, but it s crazy to not be able to lick my lips or use my tongue at all. Yesterday they had told me that I was going to be wired up for 5 weeks, but today they told me that they should be able to switch to rubber-bands in two week's time, which means soft foods like eggs will be ok at that point. That also means only four weeks total before my mouth is back to normal, God willing.

I feel pretty knocked out. I made ratatouille last week or over the weekend or something, so I took that home to Long Island with me. Mom came in by train yesterday and stayed over my apartment last night, and dad came and picked us up at the hospital. We stopped at Rite Aid back in Huntington and my mom picked up some protein drinks and Sensodyne toothpaste and stuff. Not the most inspiring purchases in the world.

Dad pureed my ratatouille with some water. He also made me a blueberry cantaloupe Ensure smoothie. I had put wax over all the spiky metal on my teeth, but I was still a little drugged up from the surgery when I did that, so I put too much and it was blocking the gaps and the food couldn't get through very well. It was gross. I had to clean off all the wax before I could actually eat. Not fun.

My teeth hurt, and I wish I could talk normally, but I'm glad my jaw is in place at the very least. In that regard, I definitely feel better, and I'm sure the pain killers are helping me out. I'm feeling pretty hopeless about being able to enjoy anything for the rest of the summer, but I think that I will be able to heal ok, and that this shouldn't have any lasting damage on my body. Paying for all these medical bills is another story...

liquid diet

Today I broke my jaw. I will be getting it wired shut tomorrow for the next five weeks. I am incredibly depressed about this, and probably won't continue blogging, since I will be drinking boring nasty purees from now until the end of August and can't imagine mustering up the necessary enthusiasm to write about them. Basically, the rest of my summer is shot to shit. I may post the few dishes I haven't written about yet, but I'm not sure what the point is.